Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Story 2

There has recently been a major disagreement within the county commissioners in Anoka. The county sheriff, Gus Dicesari, proposed the idea to county commissioners that Anoka county should buy eight new police cruisers and hire five new sheriff’s deputies. Commission President, Anne Chenn, disagreed that these things were needed for the community and brought up that the county could not afford to hire more deputies and new police cruisers. Anita Shenuski, who agrees with Sheriff Dicesari, stated that the county should spend more money on the sheriff’s department and law enforcement than programs for the 5,000 migrant families who come to the county for work. Shenuski claims that the immigrants are the reason for problems in law enforcement. In the heated argument, Chenn denied that immigrants are the problem. Chenn claimed that because of increased costs for health care for employees, higher fuel costs, and the $50 million used to build the new prison to alleviate overcrowding is the reason why the county has no extra money to spend on the unnecessary new police cruisers. Chenn suggested instead of spending $580,000 on the cruisers and the five new deputies, that deputies not drive their cruisers home each day, as they do now, to reduce mileage on the cruisers. Dicesari still put up a fight saying that parking the police cruisers in the street was a deterrent to crime. In a vote 5-2, the sheriff’s request for the eight new police cruisers and five new sheriff’s deputies, has been denied.

8 comments:

  1. I think I would have liked to have been at that meeting! Have you ever attended a county commissioners' board meeting? They can be REALLY boring!

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  2. Well done, I enjoyed your take on the story. The one thing I would fix though, it is $30 million, not $50 million, according to the information in the book.

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  3. Very well done, try not to be as redundant in your writing, and make sure to split your stories up into smaller paragraphs, each paragraph should highlight a specific aspect of the story. Other then that I thouhgt your story was awesome!

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  4. Good job Alyssa. I like your transition from law enforcement to migrants workers. Well done. I would like to point out thought that you did make one fairly serious mistake. You said the new prison cost $50 million when in fact, it was $30 million. That is quite a discrepancy in funds. I think that is one thing as a reporter we have to make sure we get correct. Numbers. $50 million is a fairly large chuck of money coming out of the county's $127 million budget. Your mistake takes what is actually 1/4 of the budget going to a new prison to over 1/3. That will definitely be noticed by tax-payers. Just some friendly advice. Otherwise, good job.

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  5. Nice job. Your was much more detailed than mine. Hopefully mine wasn't too short...

    Like Angelina mentioned (I did the same thing with my Story 1 and just barely caught mine in time before I submitted it), split up your story between the different parts of it. This will make it easier to read, as well as better formatted.

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  6. What I really appreciate from reading your article is how you can actually feel the debate and anger. Your words bring that fight to life. I like that. It keeps the article interesting, and gives it some intensity. I also feel as if I were sitting at that meeting.

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. The only discrepency I noticed was the amount of the new prison cost. The book listed 30 million and you stated 50 million. Other than that I like how you made the story a lot clearer and shortened! Im still have troubles shortening mine!

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